Mothers of America! Sharpen those pitch forks and hoist up those halos, another Disney darling has gone WILD! Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) is quickly going the way of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Before you know it she’ll be lip syncing on stage in ass less chaps while sharing a girl on girl kiss. You know, those kisses that have been destroying American families for decades. Oh the horror!

VIA Hollywire

After the 2008 Myspace photo incident the world was kind enough to forgive Montana Cyrus for acting like a dirty 15-year-old girl going through puberty. (For those who don’t know, puberty is a disease usually contracted by teenagers after they witness famous figures setting bad examples. It is in no way a natural part of human growth.) With her recent pole dancing performances and nearly pornographic music videos there’s no stop to the madness.

Who will raise America’s adolescent girls when Montana…I mean Cyrus makes the complete transformation to full grown adult? Didn’t she realize when she was signing her Disney contract that she was making a promise to be cute and virginal forever? You would think Billy Ray Cyrus would have pointed out the fine print when he helped sign her life away.

Parents should realize that the Disney channel cannot be trusted to provide role models. Once they hit their teen years they immediately forget about their role model status and commit acts of debauchery while they single-handedly destroy American children. Oh the humanity!

Where can parents turn to find good role models for their children anymore? Maybe Nikelodeon…nah, their theme park isn’t as cool.

A friend of mine advised that I watch the video again after my exclamations of disappointment. It was at that moment that I knew that I hadn’t imagined the flop. Gaga does not need a second look to “grow upon you.” Gaga just happens!

I will admit my own personal investment in the song but I cannot excuse the let down I endured. Watching the video felt like watching Lady Gaga do a cheap impression of herself. I may as well have just watched a current episode of Saturday Night Live, which is to say…not funny!

The male dancers were surprisingly fabulous, and without doubt left Gaga in their dust! Call me a sucker for androgyny but the male dancers had me in their clutches. With every high heel and industrial fishnet, I was captivated, the same can not be said for a single Gaga look throughout this video.

Perhaps it was my own personal investment in this song, but I was definitely disappointed. Which has led me to wonder, do “true” Gaga fans (aka “monsters”) believe this is good?

Or is it that most Gaga fans do not understand the avant garde and therefore accept anything out of the norm as inspiring now? I do not profess to have any true understanding of fashion or what dictates avant garde, but I know that this was certainly not it.

To say the least for one of my favorite Gaga songs, I’m disappointed…

VIA VH1.com

Finally VH1 has a show that puts spoiled brats where they belong with: You’re Cut Off! If there’s one thing I absolutely cannot stand it’s an over privileged, ungrateful brat! I refuse to call them women because let’s face it, you’re not a woman if you can’t take care of yourself!

The show features nine money hungry girls who have abused their credit cards for the last time! They are lured onto the show believing that they will be featured in a Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous-esk show only to find out that their benefactors are cutting them off! (forgive my exclamation marks, this show excites me!)

I have a lot of personal feelings about this show because I used to be a spoiled child. I know what it’s like to have a full set of Louis Vuitton, mink blankets, fabulous clothes and all that jazz. It wasn’t until my mother’s ex-boyfriend bankrupted us and used her for everything that she had that I finally got to understand what’s it’s like to live without. While I never treated people as though their bank statements mattered, I did believe that I was entitled to a certain kind of lifestyle.

Jessica - VIA VH1.com

While I lament the effect of this situation on my mother, I’m thankful everyday for losing every penny. I’m thankful everyday that I learned what it truly meant to have a strong work ethic and a sense of self worth. Money can buy you a lot but it won’t give you wisdom and it won’t guarantee happiness.

True, I do dream from time to time of being a “kept woman” but I know that there is no satisfaction in being handed everything on a silver platter. I cannot wait to see these girls get put through their paces and EARN the lives they’ve been given.

Gia - VIA VH1.com

It’s season forecast time! Something tells me I’m going to absolutely love Jessica from New Jersey! She seems to be a little more aware of what’s happening and she seems to have the survival instinct. Jessica I’m rooting for you, prove me right!

With that said, I think the biggest train wreck will be Gia! Aside from spoiled brats I also hate bad mothers (we’ll get into that in future episodes though)! If you can’t even be bothered to get out of bed to feed your child in the middle of the night then you just suck at life all across the board. Her own husband (her sugar daddy if you will) said that every time he looks in the mirror he wants to hit himself for the monster he’s created. If that doesn’t say you’ve got a problem, I don’t know what does. Hope he signed that prenup!

The show is scheduled to have it’s big debut June 9th even though there it technically aired today. I will update later with the official times to follow this show. To watch all of episode one click here.

VIA Poptower.com

After watching episode 7 of Sober House 2 I began to understand the degrees of addiction. Three cases stood out in particular that made me aware of what it was to be an addict.

In the case of Sizemore, it was his addiction that led to recent court troubles and nearly sent him to prison. If not for the Pasadena Recovery Center and programs like Sober House Sizemore runs the very real risk of relapsing and finding himself behind bars. It’s amazing to see the grip that addiction can hold over a person and what they stand to lose by pursuing that addiction.

VIA VH1

In Dennis Rodman‘s case, even after the court troubles he still continues to deny any real addiction. Even though his drinking has led to strains on his relationships with his own family, Rodman continues to treat his addiction as though it’s not actually a problem.

I myself have never been an alcoholic, nor do I have a medical degree but I believe I have the basic understanding of what it means to be an addict through my own life lessons. There has to be a certain approach you take to your life once you become sober so as not to get stuck in the same old habits.

One blog “Adventures in Soberville” by Brittnee details the life changes she has undergone as a recovering alcoholic. She posts about what it’s like going to events now as compared to how it was as an alcoholic. She even bids a farewell to the person she used to be while she was an alcoholic in the post ‘Goodbye Mary Jane.‘ Blogs like Soberville make you aware of what it’s like to fight addiction.

The third case came from a friend of a resident of the house, Binzer. I was unable to find the name of the girl but did manage to snag the screen cap to the left. This young woman is still in stage one of addiction. She realizes during the episode that she has a problem and needs help. As Gimenez continues giving her advice she becomes resistant and begins making the same typical excuses as to why she cannot check in to treatment.

By the end of the episode it is unsure whether or not she went back to using. It’s amazing the amount of denial that is involved with addiction. You can see your life spiraling around you and you’re aware that you need help. For some reason, it seems impossible to make that first step.

If you or someone you know is a victim of addiction you can contact facilities like the Pasadena Recovery Center at  866.663.3030. Arizona residents can find recovery centers listed here on Yellowbook.com.

Tune in for the season finale of Sober House 2 April 29th on Vh1 at 10 et/pt.

VIA Malestarz.com

While watching Charlies Angels today I found myself tossing around this question: Has Matt LeBlanc ever had a good/comedic role where he wasn’t playing a guy who wants to be/is an actor? and the guy he’s playing isn’t dumber than a box of rocks and yet somehow he drops panties from across the room? and the wannabe actor he’s  playing isn’t devoid of realistic cinema emotion?

No. No he hasn’t. The only two times he’s even convincing as an actor is when he’s pretending to be a chick magnet actor in the making or when he’s just playing a chick magnet.

Way to go LeBlanch! Way to raise the bar and not rely on your looks! LeBlanch for the win! [/sarcasm]

After watching the finale of season one I came to a conclusion: there are three (essential) types of drag.

VIA Poptower.com

“Realness” – Season two contestant Tatianna was exemplary of what it means to give drag realness. Realness drag is about imitating (intentionally or not) what bilogical women look like. The girls who do realness drag tend to be younger and normally have bodies that typically make me ashamed of mine. They’re the type of queens you see and they make you feel like less of a woman.

They don’t tend to dress extravagantly, nor do they have flare for the dramatic. Rebecca Glasscock of season one was another realness queen. These queens are beautiful to look at but are boring beyond belief in my opinion. They lack real stand out character and while they’re gorgeous they come and go like any other pretty face.

Androgynous/FIERCE! - There are really only two words you need to describe this exquisite style of drag: Nina Flowers! This category of drag is one of my absolute favorites!

While queens in this category may not necessarily be evoking the essence of the natural biological woman they’re the type of queens who stop you dead in your tracks with a single glance. They’re striking, dramatic, over the top! They’re not married to one idea or look, and above all they are F-I-E-R-C-E!

This category also includes fun personalities and very distinct characteristics. For instance one of my favorite queens, Jujubee! Queens like Juju may not be reaching for a sharp look but their personalities are without doubt diva, therefore fierce!

Androgynous queens are walking pieces of art! They’re the types of women you would see in the alternative/fetish scene. These are some of my favorite queens. Viva androgyny!

Eleganza Extravagnza!/FABULOUS! – This category is reserved for a special breed of queen. These are your over the top, haute couture, fashion forward stars. These are the queens who don’t just wear a dress they make a spectacle out of it. These are typically the same women who put models to shame. The types of women who make Tyra Banks look like the real man in makeup. This category is host to queens with showgirl style (Shannel), innovative fashion (Tyra Sanchez), and slinky swanky glamor (Raven).

But the true paragon of eleganza is the dragtastic diva RuPaul! Never a hair out of place or an outfit understated. Ru is a woman with charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.

Don’t be jealous of [her] boogie she’s America’s drag superstar!

To get in on all the drag fun you can tune in Mondays 9/8c on Logo or Tuesdays 9pm et/pt on VH1. You can also view episodes for free on both the Vh1 and Logo websites.

VIA RuPaul.com

“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else.” – Ru Paul

For those who follow the glamtastic show, Ru Paul’s Drag Race 2, you’re familiar with Ru’s signature sign off. Aside from my love for this draglicious diva, I always find myself musing over that sign off.

She’s absolutely right!

It amazes me how many people seem to be under the impression that when things are at their most turbulent, that’s the moment to settle down or find someone to love. Excusing the fact that you have problems, you should attempt taking on the intimate problems of the one you love. Yeah, that will make everything better…

If nothing else I hope you learn this, you have nothing to offer someone else if you cannot see your own self worth. If you can’t possibly think of a reason that makes you special, important or unique then how can you expect to truly see that in your counterpart? How can you expect to give of yourself when you can hardly stand what you have to give?

This isn’t to say that a lucky few don’t find themselves through their significant other, but it is a very rare occurrence. In order to form a strong, healthy bond with someone you should have an understanding of yourself and be proud of what you have to offer.

Relationships can be great but they will never be more important than your self worth. It is better to be alone and content than to halfheartedly connect with someone else.

To join in on the dazzling drag show catch Ru Paul’s Drag Race 2 on VH1 Tues at 9pm et/pt.

I have come to the conclusion that it is imperative that I leave Arizona! Not for good mind you, but at least for a while. Enter: Spring Break! My best friend and I have decided to go on a bit of a journey. We intend to take a map and literally flip a coin to decide where we’re going.

We will attempt to see as many places as humanly possible over a three day span. We also plan to stop by any and all tourist attractions along the way.

Here’s where you can play a role in deciding how to make this trip even more interesting! I have come up with the bright idea of implementing a scavenger hunt of sorts. All I’m asking is for ideas. Things to do on the trip, things to take pictures of, or things to buy. Please feel free to give me your ideas no matter what they are. If your idea is a little more risque or just not something you care to post for the world to see, please email me: CParker411@gmail.com

(For example) One idea I have on the list, donated by a coworker, is to take a picture mooning the camera with the ocean in the background. Any and every idea you have could stand to make this one of the most memorable Spring Breaks of my life. Do your worst!

Episode #2 of Tool Academy 3 stared one of my favorite tool events: Tool E-oke! A stunning display of stupidity and really really bad talent. Ironically the lesson of the episode is fidelity which has nothing to do with the singing and dancing tool challenge. While I gained no understand of how putting together a little song and dance has anything to do with fidelity I did learn a bigger more important lesson.

The singing and dancing is not about being the best or having any discernible talent (and clearly these couples have no real discernible talent), it’s about making a display of effort and being foolish to prove your commitment. The couples that usually do the worst are the one’s that are too reserved or too proud to really get into their act. The couples that do the best are the couples that strap on their go go boots, break out the blue eyeshadow and tease out their hair in order to really perform their act. It’s about looking foolish in order to say to their partner, I don’t care what they may see, as long as you see that I’m willing to step outside of my comfort zone to be here for you.

Tool Academy 3 has made the perfect demonstration for my second piece of dating advice: be a fool for love. This does not mean that you should act in some other way that is fundamentally against who you are.

For those who have ever had the joy of being in love, I’m sure there have been times where you’ve felt slightly foolish. I’m sure you’ve probably said or done some things that could only be described as “corny” or “lame” by outside viewers or even your partner.

Love is not about being cool or “saving face.” It’s about diving in and just hoping for the best. It’s a test of will and can at times lead you to doing things you never thought you could do. These things are important. If love is your goal and not just companionship then you should be going in ready to and prepared to step outside of your comfort zone. You need to prepare for the idea that the things you may do for your significant other may not be deemed cool by your friends or passers by.

When you decide to love it means opening your heart to all possibilities. It means letting your guard down and just going for it. Being guarded is reasonable and even necessary when dating casually. It’s alright to hide behind your wall if that someone special just isn’t special enough right now. When it comes to love you just have to jump and realize that even if you’re feelings aren’t returned and perhaps you may look a bit foolish, at least you can walk away knowing that you were open to the possibilities and that you gave it everything you had.

Rejection hurts, there is no denying that. It is better to know that you really gave something everything you had and came up empty handed than to realize you didn’t make a real effort and therefore gained nothing in return.